Thinking Errors

Just so you know, I have experience working with sex offenders. One of the first things that offenders work on when they come into treatment is thinking errors. Just to be clear, everyone has thinking errors. But when taken to the extreme, they lead to problematic behaviors. Today’s post will be focusing on some of the most common thinking errors that stop people from reaching their full potential:

1.  Victim Stance - The person using this thinking error views himself as the victim in all situations and feels others should feel sorry for him. He feels he should not be held responsible for his actions because it’s the other person’s fault that he failed. Ex – It’s her fault that I got arrested. I didn’t hurt her that bad.
2. Uniqueness – The person using this thinking error doesn’t believe the rules apply to him. He feels that he is special and therefore should be treating differently than everyone else. Ex – The person who fails to show for jury duty when summoned
3. Slacking – The person using this thinking error does just enough to get by and nothing more. Ex –The kid who has the ability to make straight A’s, but brings home C’s and D’s. The person who quits his high paying job and takes a job below his skill set to decrease alimony and/or child support payments
4. Lying – The person using this thinking error either makes entirely false statements, tells half-truths, or engages in actions that don’t match his words. He is usually doing this to escape responsibility or to protect his ego. Ex – The dad who says “I’m coming to your play tonight.” and doesn’t show up.
5. Pride – The person using this thinking error has a highly idealistic assessment of oneself. He believes that he is superior to others and believes that he has gotten where he is without any help from others. Ex – The entrepreneur who tries to do it all on his own
6. Perfectionism – The person using this thinking error believes everything and everyone must be perfect. He holds everyone to an impossible standard, yet does not apply this standard to himself. He avoids tasks because they may not turn out “perfectly.” Ex – The wanna be real estate investor who refuses to pull the trigger because all the stars aren’t perfectly aligned.
7. I Can’t – The person who uses this thinking error really means “I won’t.” He has the ability to use his potential and perform tasks, but refuses. Ex – The person who claims he can’t find a job, but spends all day on the internet and watching TV.
8. Deferment – The person who uses this thinking error puts everything off until tomorrow. He believes things will be easier in the future rather than living in the present.  Ex – “I’ll go back to school soon.”
9. Entitlement – The person who uses this thinking error believe everything is owed to him and everyone serves at his pleasure. Rather than being responsible and earning his own way, he would rather take from others. Ex – The adult who is still living at home with mom and dad and expects his parents to pay all of his bills, while contributing nothing to the household.
10. Rationalization – The person who uses this thinking error has a reason for everything. He refuses to acknowledge that he is in his situation or has experienced failures due to his own decision making. Ex – “I got fired because the boss didn’t like me.”

This is by no means all the thinking errors that hinder our progress. But if you are honest enough to admit that some of these apply to you, start making changes today.