No Excuses!

Is there really any excuse not to succeed? It amazes me how one person can suffer a minor setback and it throws his whole life into a tailspin. I knew a guy who lost his job. He didn't find another job right away and became deeply depressed. He started drinking and became an alcoholic. He ended up losing his wife, home, and eventually ended up in a group home. He never fully recovered. He sunk into self pity and despair.

Then you can have someone who suffers a life altering setback like Joni Eareckson Tada. At the age of 18, Joni became paralyzed after a diving accident. Imagine that, 18 and your whole life is ahead of you full of promise. Then you end up in a wheelchair, dependent on others for your basic needs. If you read her story, she admits that she wallowed in self pity for a couple of years. The difference with Joni is she had faith that God would work things out for her and she put her faith into action. She had art waiting to burst onto the canvas. But what do you do when you can't use your hands or feet? She began painting using her mouth to hold the brush. She also started a Christian ministry for the disabled. She also became a best selling author. All while spending most of her time since the age of 18 in a wheelchair. 

So what does it take to make it after setbacks? It takes faith that God has a plan and He will work it out. It takes action to get off your butt and do the things you need to do to recover from the setback. It takes a mindset that believes you can succeed. It takes a determination to accept no excuses and move forward. Mrs. Tada didn't accept being a being a quadriplegic as an excuse not to move forward. So stop accepting setbacks or circumstances as an excuse.

Top 10 Things I Learned at StartUP Marathon 13

I attended StartUP Marathon 13 this past weekend. I received so much great information that I needed to spend a day just processing all that I learned. And now here are some tidbits I'm going to share with you.

1. You have to believe that you can accomplish your goals. No one can believe for you.
2. Focus on your product or service. Outsource the tasks that distract from your focus.
3. Get professional advice. 
4. Know how much risk you are willing to take
5. Have a backup plan. Then have a backup to your backup plan
6. Identify ways to increase scaleability
7. If you don't have a passion for what you are doing, find something else to do
8. Success will not happen overnight. It takes drive, ambition, and most of all work
9. There will be times you will feel overwhelmed. Just breathe. It will pass
10. Marketing brings in customers. Great quality keeps them coming back. 

If you want to learn more about the organization that put together this awesome event, click here .

Though geared towards women, men can use this content as well. If you are a budding entrepreneur and you need some help defining your vision, contact me @ 321-800-8520.

The Genius of Youtube

Youtube is awesome! It's not just a place where you can find entertainment. It can also be used to learn new skills. And it's free! Did you know many business schools upload videos of lectures from leaders in industry? Many entrepreneurs also upload videos of tips and tricks to help you grow your business and it increases their credibility as an expert.  Some videos are short, while others are over an hour long. So instead of watching a repeat tonight, watch a few Youtube videos geared towards your business. If on the off chance, there aren't any geared towards what you're doing, take the opportunity to create some videos of your own.

Here are a couple of gems I found on entrepreneurship here and here

Achieving Greatness Is A Choice

What are you doing today to get you where you want to be tomorrow? Are you watching the latest episode of that trashy reality show? Or are you working on your latest business plan? Are you going to the club? Or to the latest networking event? Are you staying up burning the midnight oil partying or taking actions to put your plans in motion?

Our choices determine where we are in life and usually how far we reach. This lesson was taught to me numerous times while working in nursing homes. By the way, nursing homes are the great equalizer. Some of my clients were from the upper echelons of society. Others, not so much. But I listened to their stories and it often struck me how for most of them, if they had just made a different choice here or there, they could have achieved greatness. It also struck me how easy it is to become discouraged and give up on the hopes and dreams of youth.

Ultimately, life comes down to choices. The choice to persevere, despite the adversity that comes with achieving greatness. The choice to do the right thing for yourself and others, even if doing the right thing comes at a great price. The choice to go it alone sometimes, until others start to believe in your dream as well.

So what choices are you making today so you can achieve greatness tomorrow?

StartUP Marathon 13 - Countdown

StartUP Marathon 13 is 3 days away. It's 1 Day. 5 Experts. 4 Profit Focused, Action Oriented, Jam-Packed Power Sessions on April 20th. StartUP Marathon Hosted by Women CEO Project will be offered Live & Virtual. Attend from anywhere in the world. I will be in attendance at this awesome workshop.

Here's the rundown:


4 Jam-Packed, Profit Focused, Interactive Power Sessions:

• The Legal Side of Your Startup - Thais and Saeed Tellawi 
◦ How to BEST Structure Your Company to Save you Money & Cover You Azz eg. LLC, SCorp, CCorp
◦ What to do BEFORE You Land in Partnership Hell
◦ How to Protect Yourself Against Bad Contractors
◦ When and How to use Non-Disclosures & Non-Compete Agreements

• The Money - Jamie Fountain
◦ How to Create a Bulletproof Budget so You Can Plan Long-term & Keep Your Biz Afloat
◦ How to Know if You’re Making or Losing Money and How to Stop It NOW!
◦ How to Recognize Your Worth & Charge Accordingly
◦ How to Generate Consistent Cash Flow for Your Biz

• Action Focused Marketing Planning - Chris McCarty
◦ How to Leverage Social Media Platforms to Gain Visitors to your Store, Blog or Show up @ Your Events
◦ What to do with a Facebook Page After You Create it to Bring in Warm Leads & Sell Products
◦ How to Build a Successful Customer Flow Stream through Internet Marketing

• Digital Leverage Creation - Kristi Jackson
◦ How to Connect with Key Players Using FREE Tools
◦ How to Present, Promote and Brand Yourself as an Expert in YOUR Industry
◦ How to create social proof Quickly and Uniquely using hot digital tools
◦ How to Set up Systems, Hire Help & Automate for Ultimate Leverage

It's time to stop dreaming and start doing. Sign up TODAY!!! - startupmarathon.eventbrite.com

Can You Take Criticism?

Can you take constructive criticism? Are you one of those people who always has a ready defense should someone endeavors to make a suggestion of how to do something better? Do you treat constructive criticism as if it’s a personal attack? Stop it! In order to grow and change, it is necessary to take criticism sometimes. Usually, if someone is taking the time to offer you feedback in order to do your job better, or make it to the next level, it’s because they care about your success. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means there is room for improvement. And everyone has areas for growth potential. Sometimes we are not aware of areas that need attention. Isn’t it awesome to have someone who cares enough to point these out to us? Keep in mind that it’s usually not done for malicious purposes or to tear us down. It’s to build us up and help us to move forward on our paths.

So here is your task for today:

List 5 people who you know and trust for this exercise.

They should be from different areas of your life.

List them below:

FAMILY MEMBER




CLOSE FRIEND




CO-WORKER




AN ASSOCIATE




A SOCIAL CONTACT

So, how do you go about it?

Well, below is a list of questions to ask each person you chose to give you feedback.

It's recommended that you meet with each person and explain what you are doing. Here's something simple to say: "Hey, I am looking to change some things in my life. Would you mind answering a few questions about me. I really appreciate your help on this."

Completing this assignment will give you some insight into areas that may need improvement. It may sting a little to hear, but the objective is two-fold. You are learning how to take criticism and getting feedback on things to work on in the future.

EXTERNAL FEEDBACK QUESTIONS

·                     What do you think are areas in which I need to improve?

·                     What are my annoying habits?

·                     What three suggestions do you have for improvement?

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

Does anything stand out? If so, what?

Are you surprised by what was said or written?

What steps will you take going forward to minimize your deficits?

How has this assignment changed your outlook and how you view yourself?

What will you do differently now that you have this new information?

Mindset

Mindset - a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

Everyone has a mindset. Our mindset is a significant factor in how far we reach in life. Do you have a got get it attitude or do you like to go with the flow? Do you like to go it alone or do you think teamwork gets you farther? Well here are a few mentalities I have seen in my practice.

1. Entitlement – the belief that success should just happen because of who you are rather than as the result of any effort or hard work that you put towards your endeavors.  Common among teenagers, the entitlement mentality is often a sign of immaturity.
2. Loner – the belief that you can succeed on your own with no assistance from others. You know, the self-made man. He takes credit for all his successes, but his failures are always someone else’s fault. He may be successful, but his employees will leave at the drop of a hat once something better comes along
3. Entrepreneur – the belief that you would rather work for yourself than someone else. He will work for someone else for a while, but is always striving to break free. He understands perseverance and determination. He is also not afraid to ask for help when necessary. He is not interested in a handout, just a hand up from time to time.
4. Employee – the belief that you would rather work for someone else than for yourself. He is content to work 9-5 and have benefits. He may strive to move up in the company, as long as he is able to maintain a work/life balance. He may even be willing to be loyal to the company, provided he is compensated appropriately. 

Perhaps one of these mentalities applies to you. Are you happy with your current mindset? If not, why not? Do you believe that your mindset can change? It can. But it depends on you and how much you want to change. If you’re interested in changing your mindset, contact me. I can be reached at 321-800-8520 or at truechangelifecoach@gmail.com. Don’t let your mindset hold you back.

Image courtesy of ddpavumba at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Stop Being a Victim

One of the things that annoys me is a person who acts like a victim and acts like it's everyone else's fault for their lot in life. They refuse to take responsibility for their own well-being and act as if everyone should tolerate their pity party. I have worked with a lot of people who act like victims in my line of work. Here are just a few of the common things I hear.

1. My spouse/mate keeps cheating on me.
   Here's a question. Why are you still hanging around? The reason he/she keeps cheating is because you keep taking him/her back. 
2. I'm sitting in jail because people talk too much.
   Newsflash - You're in jail because you committed a crime. Somebody else just had enough sense to get you off the streets before you caused more damage.
3. I don't know why I can't hold down a job. I'm a great worker. 
   So, here's the thing. If you've been fired or walked off every job you have ever held, it's not them. It's you. You may want to take a closer look at what you're doing. 
4. I shouldn't face consequences because I was abused as a child.
   Unfortunately, many adults were abused as children. That doesn't mean you shouldn't face the consequences for your own actions.

And that's nothing compared to what I hear from sex offenders. Maybe you know someone who thinks like this. Maybe some of this thinking applies to you. The point is stop being a victim. Take responsibility for your own actions. The only person you can control is you. So why are you letting others set your agenda? If you want to be successful, then stop being a victim.

 

The Power of No

No. A very short and simple word that holds a lot of power. Yet many do not know how to use it effectively.

For example, I've seen parents give in to the requests of their children, and then wonder how their kids became spoiled with an over developed sense of entitlement. I've seen employees go to jail because they refused to say no to their boss when asked to engage in illegal activities. I'm sure you have seen examples in your own life of when you knew you should have said no to someone and it didn't turn out well for you.

But using the word No effectively is an important skill to have wherever you are in life. It may cause discomfort in the short term. It will pass. Remember when your parents would tell you No and you sulked or threw a tantrum? Did you get over it? Your kids will, too. As a side note: If saying yes means you will put your integrity at risk, then definitely say no. If you lose your integrity, there isn't much else to lose.

Keep in mind that saying no is simple, but not always easy. Especially for someone who is not used to using it.

Now when you say No, be assertive with it. Use a firm, but polite voice.
Ex: No, I won't do that.
If you have to give a reason, keep it short and sweet.
Use body language. Look the person in the eye when saying no. Shake your head. Stand up straight. Walk away.
Use a deferral: I'll get back to you on that.
If you're feeling pressured to give an answer, remain silent and think. Only you can control your own actions. Then say no and walk away.

Practice saying No. Say no to at least 1 person for 7 days. It doesn't have to be a high pressure situation. You can say no to the fast food worker when they offer you fries. Feel your confidence grow and lose the guilt. There is nothing wrong with standing up for you.

Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

FOCUS

Here is a quick video on focus. Tyler Perry discuss how he became successful. According to him, it comes down to 2 things: The Grace of God and Focus. I think another factor is perseverance. Mr. Perry was able to rise to the top because he followed the path with focus. He was not deterred by failure or the disbelief of others. He kept striving for his goal. What goals are you striving for today? Are you focused? Are you distracted by fear? Are you discouraged by failure? Don't be. Just remember to stay FOCUSED.

The Iron Lady

The Iron Lady has passed away. Margaret Thatcher raised the standard when it came to leadership. She was strong, resilient, steadfast, and brilliant. She was a lady of her word who did not suffer fools lightly. She understood that sometimes you have to endure pain or discomfort in the short term in order to gain long term benefits. She understood the importance of hard work and perseverance. The shop owner's daughter rose to prominence and paved the way for future leaders. The Iron Lady was staunch in her beliefs and refused to apologize for them. And as history looks back, in most cases she was right. So in honor of Baroness Thatcher, here are a few of her quotes to give you an idea of who she was in life.

1. He would rather have the poor poorer provided the rich were less rich. That is a liberal policy
2. Don't follow the crowd, let the crowd follow you.
3. I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
4. I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.
5. Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy.
6. Consensus: “The process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values, and policies in search of something in which no one believes, but to which no one objects; the process of avoiding the very issues that have to be solved, merely because you cannot get agreement on the way ahead. What great cause would have been fought and won under the banner: ‘I stand for consensus?
7. Being democratic is not enough, a majority cannot turn what is wrong into right. In order to be considered truly free, countries must also have a deep love of liberty and an abiding respect for the rule of law.
8. Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan
9. Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
10. If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and would achieve nothing.
11. In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
12. Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
13. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
14. Do you know that one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas.
15. To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.

The Company You Keep

The people you associate with are important. They can affect your mood and self-confidence. They can inspire you to do better or encourage you to sink to their level.

 Some people complain about everything. And I mean everything. They are covetous of what others have. They can find the negative in any situation. They despise anyone who is doing better are trying to do better. In the course of hanging around them, you find yourself engaging in the same negative behaviours.

Some people are a pure joy to be around. They want to do better and encourage others to do the same. They recognize the negative, but don’t dwell on it. Hanging out with them is like a breath of fresh air. So what are your friends like?

Maybe it’s time to take an inventory. Think of each of your friends and ask yourself – How is this person a positive influence on my life? How do I feel when I am around them? Do we listen to each other and give positive feedback? Do you give each other constructive criticism when necessary?

Family is a little bit trickier. You can’t pick them. But you do have the power to pick your friends!

So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

1.  Remember that you have the power to choose your friends. Choose wisely.
2. Your friends are a reflection of you. People will often associate you with the company you keep
3. Express to your friends how you feel about their negativity. If they care about you, they’ll respect your honesty. But don’t expect them to change either. If you choose to continue the friendship, then accept them as they are.
4. The same goes for your family. And if you think granny is going to change the way she’s been doing business for the past 50 years, you’re delusional. Just accept that’s the way she’s going to be and move on.

10 Reasons You NEED to Attend StartUP Marathon 13

It's already April. If you're an aspiring entrepreneur or small business owner and you're still in the same place you were this time last year, it's time to make some changes. That change can start by attending StartUP Marathon 13 on April 20, 2013 in Houston, TX. Not in Houston? No worries. It's virtual as well. So here are 10 reasons why you should be there in person or online.

1. You made a New Years' Resolution that you were going to start your own business and it's already April.
2. You're stuck and have no idea where to start. 
3. You fear failure
4. You need some direction
5. Your finances are tight and you're worried about funds
6. You've been spinning your wheels
7. You're not an "Expert"
8. You have the passion and the desire to chart your own course
9. You have the guts to take action
10. You need a business strategy

Managing Your Social Media

Time is valuable. But, as a business owner, you have to spend some of it on marketing. Facebook and Twitter are cost effective ways of marketing your business. The trick to using these platforms is consistency. Of course, if you are running your business, you probably don't have time to send status updates and tweets 20 times a day. There's a fix for that. It's called Hootsuite. And. It. Is. Awesome. It's fairly easy to navigate. And if you are on a budget, it's free. If you're just starting out, you won't need all the bells and whistles anyway. Just to make things easy for you, here is a tutorial on how to use Hootsuite by Meagan Visser.

Life After Failure

This was Mark Sanford 4 years ago.

There he is. Confessing to being a cad. Notice his wife is not by his side. He is standing alone, as he should be, admitting to the world he is a failure as a husband and father.

And here is Mark Sanford today.

Mr. Sanford will be running in May for a seat in Congress. Let's analyze this for a bit. I, in no way condone what he did in destroying his marriage and family. But there are some lessons to be learned here.

1. Once you fail, own up to your failings. Don't bother with the coverup, it just makes things worse
2. Apologize, apologize, apologize
3. Ask for forgiveness, but don't expect forgiveness overnight. 
4. Not everyone is going to forgive your failure. Or let you live it down. 
5. Reflect on what you have done and resolve to do better. 
6. Get back in the game. Mark Sanford could have rejected the calls to return to public life and stayed huddled in a corner somewhere. But he didn't. Now, he is on his way to an election that he will probably win, given the fact he just won his run-off election in one of the reddest of red states.

In summary, you will have failures in life. That happens. Not everyone will be forgiving. But learn from it, and move on. If you made it to the top before, you can get back there. Mark Sanford had an EPIC fail that was broadcast around the world 4 years ago. Today, he's one step closer to going to Congress. What's your excuse?

Update:
And the comeback is complete. Despite some setbacks during the campaign, Mr. Sanford is returning to Congress. Not everyone has the gumption to rebuild after such deep personal failings. But it can be done. Congratulations Mr. Sanford. You've got  your second chance. Don't screw it up.

How Do Others See You?

Are you aware of how others see you? You may think you are average, go don't bring much to the table. But what if that is a faulty assumption on your part. We all have our quirks and natural abilities, but sometimes we aren't aware of them. Or we are aware, but tend to downplay our gifts. Well, what's the point in having a gift if you aren't going to use it?

So here is your task for today:

List 5 people who you know and trust for this exercise.

They should be from different areas of your life.

List them below:

FAMILY MEMBER




CLOSE FRIEND




CO-WORKER




AN ASSOCIATE




A SOCIAL CONTACT

Feeling nervous. Don't. You are just asking for positive feedback at this point. We'll do constructive criticism another day.

Just Trust the Process!

So, how do you go about it?

Well, below is a list of questions to ask each person you chose to give you feedback.

It's recommended that you meet with each person and explain what you are doing. Here's something simple to say: "Hey, I need some perspective about myself and I value your opinion. Would you mind answering a few questions about me. I really appreciate your help on this."

They'll get an ego boost just from the fact that you want their opinion and who doesn't love to give their opinions. Plus you are asking direct questions designed to give you direct answers. If you want, you can email them your questions or deliver them in person.

Since we live in a society where opinions count, you might as well find out how positively others think of you. 

Completing this assignment will give you some insight into your strengths and may even help you discover some assets you were not aware you possessed.

EXTERNAL FEEDBACK QUESTIONS

• What do you think are my greatest strengths?

• What do you like most about me?

• What do you value most about me?

• What three words sum up the positive points about me?

• If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

Does anything stand out? If so, what?

Are you surprised by what was said or written?

Are you confident in your abilities? If not, why?

What steps will you take going forward to maximize your potential?

Why do you not see these strengths in yourself?

How has this assignment changed your outlook and how you view yourself?

What will you do differently now that you have this new information?