Coaching: When to Refer to a Therapist

Let me start by saying coaching is not therapy. They have similar qualities and use similar techniques. But when you dig deeper, coaching and therapy serve different purposes.

When someone is in therapy, he is usually dealing with some past trauma or a current crisis that requires professional attention in order to gain mental stability. Depending on the person's diagnosis, he may even require the use of medications to maintain stability.

Coaching serves a different purpose. Coaching does not focus on dealing with past traumas or crises. The typical coaching client is looking to tweak certain areas of his life to make it to the next level. 

When you are coaching a client, you may notice some things that may need to be addressed, but are outside of your scope as a coach. So here are some situations in which it is advisable to refer to a therapist. 

1. Past history of trauma - If your client reveals a past history of trauma or abuse and you suspect that it's impeding progress, by all means refer to a therapist. It's not your job as the coach to try to help them through the trauma. There are specialized techniques for this type of work. 

2. Unstable mood - It's one thing to feel down every once in awhile. It's another if you're noticing constant mood swings in your client. There may be an undiagnosed mental illness that needs to be addressed. And most coaches aren't trained mental health professionals. 

3. Addiction - Dealing with addiction takes a special set of skills. I'm a licensed psychotherapist and even I refer out if the person has issues with addiction. 

4. Depression - If you notice your client has been appearing more depressed than usual or begins expressing a desire to no longer be alive, definitely refer to a therapist. If the client mentions that he wants to commit suicide, call for help. 

There may be other situations that arise that are best suited for therapy. When in doubt confer with a therapist at the very least. 

Side note: Since I am also a mental health professional, for ethical reasons I avoid entering into a dual relationship with my clients. If I am seeing a client for coaching and I notice that there may be some mental health issues that need to be addressed, I will refer to another therapist. 

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 People Entrepreneurs Should Have on Their Team

As you're growing your business, your team should be growing as well. Many entrepreneurs start off as "solopreneurs." Usually because money is tight and you have to do everything yourself. But there will come a time when you are making a steady income as an entrepreneur. Most solopreneurs believe that they are saving money performing all business functions themselves. Bad idea. Trying to do everything leads to frustration and burnout. However, having a team eases that frustration if done properly.

First, identify what tasks are necessary for you to perform, and what tasks can be outsourced to someone else. Typically, the first tasks to be outsourced are administrative. These are the day to day tasks that need to be done to keep the business running such as, setting appointments, returning calls, taking messages. So one of the first members of your team should be an administrative assistant. The assistant doesn't have to be in house, and with the advent of the internet, having a virtual assistant anywhere in the world is possible.

Another member of your team should be an attorney, especially if you haven't made your business legal yet. And by legal I mean forming a separate entity to protect your assets. There should be a layer of protection between your personal assets and your business assets. We live in a litigious society. Therefore should something arise where your business gets sued and your business and personal assets are co-mingled, you will be in a world of trouble. Get an attorney.

The next member of the team you need will be an accountant. Make that 2 accountants. One who specializes in business accounting and one who specializes in tax accounting. One makes sure the books stay in line with Generally Accepted Accounting Practices (GAAP) and the other makes sure you're in compliance with the IRS. Getting a good tax accountant now may save you from needing a tax attorney later.

Another member of your team should be your marketing expert. This person is the one who devises a plan to bring in the leads. Leads are the life blood of your business. Even though you may have been doing great with word of mouth, the marketer can help take you to the next level by identifying ways to improve your marketing strategy.

Once you have your team in place, conduct regular meetings to make sure everyone is on the same page. Let your team know what your goals and expectations. Also, the people on your team should be able to explain things to you in terms you understand. Allow your team to give you an honest assessment of how things are going. You may have hired them to do the things you don't want to do or the things you don't do as well, but you are still responsible for your business and should understand how it is running. "I didn't know" is never a good excuse when you are running a business.

So to recap, here are the 5 people who should be on your team as you grow your business:

1. Administrative/Virtual Assistant
2. Attorney
3. Business Accountant
4. Tax Accountant
5. Marketer

Remember that this is just to start. As your business grows, your team should be growing with you.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7 Tips to Finding Work/Life Balance

Do you ever get the feeling that one day you will look up and your kids are ready to leave home, but you have only a handful of memories because you spent all your time pursuing your career. You may lack balance in your life. That needs to stop because.

"I should have spent more time at work" said no one ever at the end of his or her life. Might have some other regrets, but that's not on the list. So here are a few ways to create more balance in your life.

1. Take a vacation. Many companies offer paid vacation time. Use it accordingly. If you are self employed or don't get paid vacation time, set aside money for a planned vacation and to cover expenses while you are away from work. Use that time to rest and rejuvenate.
2. Create a schedule. The schedule should include work, time for family, alone time with your mate, and exercise at the very least. Make adjustments to the schedule as necessary.
3. Make time for exercise. Exercise releases endorphines which helps to improve mood. It also keeps the body healthy and strong for as long as possible
4. Eat a proper diet. Eating properly which includes eating fruits and vegetables, helps boost energy
5. Rest. The average adult needs 7-8 hours per night of sleep to function optimally
6. Learn how to say no. You can't say yes to everything and everybody and expect to get much accomplished.
7. Delegate responsibility. Especially if you are an entrepreneur. Outsource the tasks that are not your specialty (i.e. bookkeeping, website design, marketing). This will help shorten your workload and free up time for leisure activities.

Overall, the purpose of having balance is so that you can be more productive. With the proper tools in place, you can be more effective in your career and family. If you need assistance in finding your proper work life balance, contact me at 321-800-8520 or truechangelifecoach@gmail.com

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 Things You Need to Do to Become Unstuck

Remember Groundhog Day? The movie came out back in 1993, but surprisingly still resonates today. You have a guy who continues to experience the same day over and over again. Until he began examining his life and make some changes. He got out, met people, helped others, and became open to new experiences. Maybe you're feeling like everyday is Groundhog Day. Everything is the same. You feel stifled by the monotony of it all. So here are 5 steps to help rescue you from your own personal Groundhog Day.

1. Identify your passions by answering the following questions:
• What do you love to do? 
• What gives you fulfillment and a sense of belonging? 
• What inspires you?
• What do you need for your life to be meaningful?
2. Identify goals that align with your passions. Ex: Have a passion for food and can barely boil water? Set a goal of taking a basic cooking class. Have a passion for food and travel? Set a goal to experience the cuisine in the country of your choice. 
3. Make small changes over time. When you have been stuck in a rut for awhile, change can be scary. So small changes, will help you become more comfortable with bigger changes you want to make down the line.
4. Be open to risk. People often find it difficult to get unstuck because being stuck is comfortable.  Seeking change requires taking a risk.  
5. Help others. You may not be remembered for the job you had or how much was in your bank account. But you will be remembered for how much you gave back. Also, if you spend some time, (not all, but some), giving back and focusing on others, then you won't be in your own head as much. You won't have to listen to the voice that say you can't make a difference, because you are. Even if it's just spending time with an older person or a child. You are valuable and you give value to others. 

Now you need to take action. You can read all the books, listen to all the podcasts, attend all the self-help rallies in the world. But no one can make you become unstuck. If you are interested in becoming unstuck and moving forward in life, I have several packages available to help you along. Contact me for a free sample coaching session @ 321-800-8520 or email me truechangelifecoach@gmail.com today!

Image courtesy of Master isolated images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Life After Failure - Update

This was Mark Sanford 4 years ago.

There he is. Confessing to being a cad. Notice his wife is not by his side. He is standing alone, as he should be, admitting to the world he is a failure as a husband and father.

And here is Mark Sanford today.

Mr. Sanford will be running in May for a seat in Congress. Let's analyze this for a bit. I, in no way condone what he did in destroying his marriage and family. But there are some lessons to be learned here.

1. Once you fail, own up to your failings. Don't bother with the coverup, it just makes things worse
2. Apologize, apologize, apologize
3. Ask for forgiveness, but don't expect forgiveness overnight. 
4. Not everyone is going to forgive your failure. Or let you live it down. 
5. Reflect on what you have done and resolve to do better. 
6. Get back in the game. Mark Sanford could have rejected the calls to return to public life and stayed huddled in a corner somewhere. But he didn't. Now, he is on his way to an election that he will probably win, given the fact he just won his run-off election in one of the reddest of red states.

In summary, you will have failures in life. That happens. Not everyone will be forgiving. But learn from it, and move on. If you made it to the top before, you can get back there. Mark Sanford had an EPIC fail that was broadcast around the world 4 years ago. Today, he's one step closer to going to Congress. What's your excuse?

Update:
And the comeback is complete. Despite some setbacks during the campaign, Mr. Sanford is returning to Congress. Not everyone has the gumption to rebuild after such deep personal failings. But it can be done. Congratulations Mr. Sanford. You've got  your second chance. Don't screw it up.

Motivation - Identify Your Why

Motivation – the reason that spurs you to act in a certain way. It’s your why you do what you do. It’s the catalyst behind the achievement of your goals, small and great. Typically, you are trying to achieve goals to affect some sort of change in your life. Many people are in the habit of setting goals, but don’t achieve them. Part of the reason they did not achieve them is because they were not clear on their reason for achieving the goal or their why. So here are some simple rules on how to identify your why.

1. Identify your goal. Ex – I want to lose 20 lbs
2. Ask yourself why you need to achieve this goal. Brainstorm for at least 3 minutes all the reasons why.
3. Identify the steps you will need to take to achieve your goal
4. Ask yourself if the cost to change is worth it. Only you can answer this question.

Another reason people fail to achieve their goals is that the time and effort necessary to make the
change happen is beyond what they are willing to give. Change takes sacrifice.  That’s why it is so important to identify your motivation. If the change you are seeking does not meet a particular need, then you are not likely to achieve it because the level of motivation is not strong enough. 

The Joys of Outsourcing

In this tough economy outsourcing has become a four letter word. But do you realize how many tasks you outsource on a daily basis? Think about it. When is the last time you slaughtered a cow to have steak for dinner? When is the last time you took your trash to a landfill? Have you ever used daycare? Outsourcing happens every day and everyone uses it. Yet I still hear clients complain about not having enough time to get everything done.  This is where strategic outsourcing comes into play. Say you are running a business. And you are a solo operation. You keep track of finances, review contracts, write proposals, perform the work and take out the trash. But the only thing that is making you money is performing the work. Now what if you hired an attorney to review your contracts? And that frees up, let’s say 3 hours in your week. What about a business account to balance your books? That may save you another 3-5 hours in your week. What about an assistant to help write proposals and perform other duties that zap your time? What could you do with that extra time? Close more deals? Spend more time with family? Go on a vacation? Think of outsourcing has a tool. When used correctly, it can have a profound impact on your business and perhaps create a work-life balance that is ideal. If you need assistance with identifying ways to create that balance for yourself, contact me at truechangelifecoach@gmail.com for a free introductory coaching session. Reach out today!

Why I Transitioned to Coaching

Long before I became a life coach, long before I became a psychotherapist, I was in the IT industry. I worked for a Fortune 500 company as a software tester. I enjoyed being around my co-workers. The benefits were excellent. And I was well paid. But the work was unfulfilling.  I would come home at night and think, “Is this all there is?” So one day I decided to do some research. I attended a career exploration workshop and discovered that the career I picked wasn’t for me. Though I am an introvert, I truly enjoy helping people.

So I did more research and decided to pursue a degree in psychology. I completed my degree and obtained my license. During the process of obtaining my license, I worked with a lot of mentally unhealthy people. I also pursued the license to treat sex offenders. As you can imagine, I have heard a lot of horror stories and have helped to heal a lot of broken lives. During the process I learned several things. I learned that I don’t work well with certain populations. And that’s okay. Any therapist or coach worth his salt will tell you that you’re not a perfect fit for every client and not every client is a perfect fit for you. I learned that I need balance. Dealing with traumatic issues on a consistent basis will take a toll. I also learned that not everyone who needs help has to be mentally unstable. There are plenty of healthy people out there who need a push in the right direction. Perhaps to gain a bit of clarity in their lives. So I decided to become a life coach. I experience great joy when I see my clients make goals and achieve significant breakthroughs. It’s a win-win situation. And who doesn’t love a win? So if you are really to make some changes in your life and want a free introductory session, contact me at truechangelifecoach@gmail.com. I made some changes in my life. Isn’t it time you made some changes in yours?