3 Reasons Your Client is Resisting Setting Goals

If you are a coach, one of your first priorities is probably helping your client establish some goals. Well, this isn’t always an easy task and you may run into some resistance. That's ok. Resistance happens at times. Don't take it personally. But it's helpful to know why your client may seem unwilling to buckle down. So let’s look at 3 reasons why your client could be dragging his feet in the goal setting department.

1. Victim Stance – In most cases, clients are coming to you because they are tired of being victims of their circumstances. But the victim role is comfortable. The victim role allows the client to place the blame for all of their problems on others, rather than take responsibility for their own actions.  Sometimes, a client can play the victim for so long, they forget they have some control in what happens in their lives.  But setting goals forces a client to move beyond the victim role.
2. Fear – Let’s face it. Change is scary. For a client to set a goal means that he will be taking a risk. For the client to move out of his safety zone, he must come to the belief that the gains outweigh the risks, even if the process is a painful one.  For example, a client who is complaining about not liking his current career may be reluctant to explore other options for fear of losing the status he has attained in his current field.  Even though the client may be unhappy in his current field, he is familiar with is role and he feels safe.  To consider the possibility of trying something new can be stressful.  It is the coach’s job to help the client see the benefits of change and establishing goals.
3. Lack of Ownership – Setting goals means the client will have to make decisions and own them.  Clients often come in with the misconception that the coach is going to fix their problems and the coach is going to make all of the decisions for them.  In reality, the client is the one who must make the decision to change and decide what those changes will be.  The coach can then help facilitate the process.  If the client must make the decisions, then that means the client must take responsibility for the outcome.  This can be a scary proposition for the client, because it means that they cannot blame anyone but themselves if goals aren’t met. 

There may be other reasons, but these are the ones I usually run into when working with clients. The trick is to recognize where your client is coming from and address it head on. As long as you are doing a thorough assessment at the beginning, these issues should become apparent fairly quickly. Remember that clients want to feel understood. They want to know that you get it. A little reassurance can go a long while in the early stages of building rapport with a client. Most importantly, be sure your client is really ready for change, and that the client is aware that goal setting is a part of the process. Once you address these issues, goal setting should be a lot easier going forward. Happy Coaching!

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